The Story of Carlisle Cullen
by Flash Foreward
Summary: A story exploring Carlisle Cullen's very interesting and too glossed over past. From his bite, to his fight against becoming everything he's been taught to hate, to the Volturi, and on to Edward.
1. Pain

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight

**The Story of Carlisle Cullen**

**I. Pain**

He woke in darkness, but that was not the first thing that he noticed. It was the pain. The piercing, ice-cold pain shooting through his body. He writhed in the dirt, hardly noticing his eyes adjusting to the lightless night and bringing a forest, rather than rows of houses, into view, the tree tops looming over him as his body neared the trunks.

He forced himself to stand, using the tree beside him to support his body as he twitched against the ache. When he felt he could control his legs at least a little he pushed forward, rushing to the next tree trunk and pausing as his body quaked more fiercely than before.

But he did not fall or falter. He gritted his teeth and pushed again, almost reaching the next tree before his body fell to the dirt once more. He howled in anguish, the pain growing more intense by the moment, and he prayed for death, wondering what sort of black magic was keeping him alive.

And then it hit him. The chase, the angry humans chasing after the lone beast, with him in the lead, and the moment when the battle turned.

He did not know what had happened, but somehow he had been running away, trailing his mob back towards their homes, and all he could remember after that was the fierce face above him, the fangs and the blood-red eyes, and the piercing in his neck as the monster bit him.

Monster.

Another quake went through his body, but there was more than pain behind it.

Hopelessness welled up inside of him as the pain increased, and as thoughts of what he was becoming filled the tiny part of his mind that wasn't fighting against the terror and the agony. A Vampire. A Monster.

Whatever would his father say?

A cry escaped from his lips, filled with fear and coated with anger. He gripped for the tree trunk nearest him, clawing at the bark, letting it cut at his still-human hands, finally wondering when he had been moved from the street where he remembered falling.


	2. Hatred

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight

**The Story of Carlisle Cullen**

**II. Hatred**

What ever would his father say?

It was a question that haunted him every step of his new life. From the distance he put between himself and any form of civilization, to the pointless hope that if he did not feed he would soon die.

But days and weeks flew by and he still lived, still felt the urgent need to seek out some form of sustenance, some unsuspecting human whose blood he could drink. But he refused to give in.

Instead, he found himself deep beneath the surface of some body of water or other, his sense of direction lost long ago. He breathed deep, inviting the water into his lungs, but he did not feel the water fill his lungs.

He did not feel the relief and release he had expected, because he did not die.

His head broke the surface and he found that he did not need to breathe to recover from his stunt, and as he gazed up the cliff-face towards his jumping point he resigned himself to the fact that he simply would not die.

He climbed onto the nearest shore, dripping wet and disgusted with himself.


	3. Hunger

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

**III. Hunger**

He crouched in the back of the cave, staying in the darkness, away from the rays of sun that penetrated his haven. He didn't like to see the way his skin glittered in the light, another reminder of the atrocity he was. He shuddered at the thought, but did not push it from his mind.

Focusing on that was better than focusing on his hunger.

There was a rustle beyond the cave, and he snapped his head around, squinting out towards the light, wondering what was coming. He prayed, though he had given up on God long ago, that it was not a human.

Then, he smelled it.

Definitely not human.

He inched along the cave wall, avoiding the sunlight as long as he could, waiting in the shadows for his impromptu guests to appear. The scent set him on edge, but he stayed patient. He'd waited this long, expecting to die of starvation and failing, a few more seconds couldn't hurt.

A herd of deer passed by the mouth of the cave, and he sneered at the sight. He dove out into the sun, toppling one of the creatures, killing it and others. He tasted its blood, relishing the taste.

His father would be proud.


	4. Knowledge

**IV. Knowledge**

He had learned so much over the years. Each generation brought a new form of knowledge to him, and he welcomed it with open arms. He traveled the world, finding knowledge where he could, and soon he had a career picked out for himself: medicine.

It was almost as though he were still human.

Almost.

He was trapped to the night, always. He had to endure the temptation of the blood, the scent of those fragile humans. And he had to move when his appearance began to conflict with the age he claimed he was.

But it was worth it. It would always be worth it. Saving lives instead of taking them, drinking from animals instead of humans, his philosophies and way of life led him back to the God of his father. And it was always worth it.


	5. Cousins

**V. Cousins**

Italy was a beautiful country, with beautiful cities throughout it. One in particular that struck Carlisle was the city of Volterra. It was here he found family, somewhat. They called him cousin, they invited him in, explained their ways, offered him meals.

He declined, and they inquired.

"I feed off animals," he told them. These cousins exchanged looks, but said nothing. There was no more mention of it. They let him live his way, and he tolerated theirs, though he found it hard to look them in the eye after one of their feedings.

He knew it wasn't fair, but he couldn't help but wonder why they could not be like him.

So he left.

"So soon?" they asked.

He nodded. "There's more to see," he said. "I can't stay cooped up in Volterra forever."

And they let him go.


End file.
